Judging fruit

I have lived with the belief that if I just tried harder I could do better. When I struggled with habits and negative thinking in my life, I tried harder to be better, to stop moving in that direction. It never worked. The more I tried the more frustrated I got when I failed, and the more exhausting it became. And when I get tired, I tend to quit.

The answer lies more in letting go, and focusing on things that will bring healthy thinking and acting. Consider a fruit tree. We can tell the quality of a tree by the fruit it produces. Unhealthy trees don't produce good fruit or any fruit. Good fruit comes from healthy trees When a tree doesn't give good fruit or any fruit at all, the answer is not to have the tree try harder. It is to seek interventions that will improve the health of the tree. This thinking works for a person as well as a tree.The outcome of a person's life, how you feel after spending time with them, the outcomes of other relationships can be metaphorized by a tree and its fruit.

One way to get healthier is to let go of the need for control. Control poisons the soil and guarantees stunted or bitter fruit. The more one needs to control the world around them, the more the fruit becomes tainted. Letting go of the things you can't control creates a sense of freedom which creates fertile soil.

Letting go is not giving up, it's acknowledging you can't do it on your own, that you need the help and support from others. It is learning to become dependent on the love

If there is little or no fruit, if the fruit is bitter, you are not looking at a healthy tree. Fruit therefore is a mark of how healthy a tree is.

The same can be said about a person.