Blessings

As I described in a previous blog To Hell..I will, Hell was one topic that held me hostage to the beliefs of my youth. Another one was the fear of loss. I was told many times that if I didn't behave in a way that "God" deemed appropriate, I would lose all that I had that I enjoyed. I was told that God would pull His "blessings" from me. As I got older questions about who's expectations I was meeting by my behavior started bubbling to my conscious awareness.

Being a person who enjoyed my stuff, my relationships, and my health, this was a very potent threat. I didn't want to lose it all, so I complied...well maybe it was more that I LOOKED like I was complying.

As I have shed many of my earlier beliefs and attempted to see God in a way that makes more sense to me, I have come to see that the thinking that says "if you don't comply, I will take it all away" does not match my experience of God. I have stopped saying that I have been blessed with anything I think I possess. Ironically sometimes it is the very things I possess that rob me of God's blessings! It may be those very things that I am fearful to lose that keeps me from following God more completely.

Now, when I talk about my life and the things I enjoy, I say "I am fortunate". Blessings to me are irrelevant to stuff we have. We make choices and there are consequences. Because of choices we can lose or gain relationships, health, and stuff. And sometimes there is truth in the bumper sticker that boldly proclaims "Shit happens."

Blessings to me are God demonstrating His love for me regardless of my circumstances. Blessings are expressions from God that He approves of me. Blessings are the hugs of God.