In church was a message about becoming sold out to God. The pastor made a good point about needing to be passionate about things if you believe them. He talked about people who were afraid to jump because of what others might think. That's where he stopped
I agree with the concept of commitment in terms of jumping, and that there are those afraid of jumping, for fear of social rejection. What I also know is the fear of jumping into toxic thinking.
I believe it a cop-out to talk about hypocrisy in the church. It is made up of people like me. I am a self-proclaimed hypocrite. But I have also seen the unhealthy ways that people are motivated to “serve” the church leadership. Guilt and shame lurk in the dark corners of the church. Freedom in Christ is boldly proclaimed from the pulpit; shame for not living up to “godly” principles is whispered in the hallways. In fact I have sat through sermons attempting to make me feel ashamed for being afraid of social rejection.
So I acknowledge that my fear of jumping may look like fear of being rejected. In actuality there may be a greater fear of what I am accepting.
1 comment:
I'm right there with you. There's a part of me that is afraid to say certain things or do certain things because I don't want people to think of me as one of "those" Christians. The scary kind. The ones who are so hell-bent on pushing you and fighting you on the subject of God. There are times when I'm at a service and the Pastor is going on and on about how something is so wrong and it needs to be fixed and I think to myself, "I don't agree with that." But then it's said that if you "know people" who don't agree then they are in a world of trouble and oh how the Lord will come down on them and blah blah blah...and I look around the church wondering if everyone is buying into this. I have piercings, tattoos, and have done things that aren't exactly on God's "Yes, Please Do That" list. But I don't think He's going to rain down fire upon me because I have tattooed the Chinese symbol for FAITH on my backbone! I hear all the time that Christians need to take into account how others view them. I was actually told once that "others" will think you not a good Christian because of your tattoos. EH? I love when people ask me what they mean...it opens the door for me to testify to them! To me that says the exact opposite of being a "naughty" Christian. I believe so deeply that I tattooed it permenantly on my body...on my backbone to remind me that my Faith in God is what is my backbone in life. It holds me up, it keeps me going, it gives me hope and fills me with love, truth, grace and light. I've had certain church goers look at me funny when they see my tattoo on the inside of my left forearm. It's the chinese symbol for "heart". (As in, I wear my heart on my sleeve) This is what I've learned by all of this zealousness for the Lord...the ones who are the most vocal in church about how people need to be better Christians and more vocal about how they are such great Christians are usually the deviants...the ones that hold grudges, judge people unfairly, gossip about others, look down on others, do ungodly things in private and so on. Jim, I think you're in a good place where you are. The only person who needs to be secure in their own level of involvement is you. If you can look yourself in the mirror every night and say, "I am a loved and valued child of God, even if I don't (insert whatever you don't do here)." I think you're golden. The more perfect one claims to be, the more likely they are to be wicked. (Personal opinion, of course.)
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