Letting go

Over the past several months I am learning new ways to let go. In recent months I have had to let go of desires, dreams, and beliefs that I have held. And it has been harder than I expected. If you had asked me a year ago if I could let go of things I would have told you that I could. Now, faced with the task of letting go in certain areas, I am finding it to be quite the challenge.

I think one of the reasons for the difficulty of letting go is that in doing so you need to change the definition of yourself. I have known myself a certain way relative to the relationship or object. In letting go, that definition changes, because part of who you are has been defined by that relationship or object. In letting go I say, “I change who I am in relationship to you. Change is a deliberate act.

Change is hard. Change is scary. Change is uncertain. And because of all those descriptors, change is hard to do. And yet, change is good.

I must change to find peace within myself. My struggle with pebbles may have been my unwillingness to redefine. My struggle with pebbles may have been signals that my definitions needed upgrading.