Ambition

A struggle of mine has been the meaning of advancement. I work at a small business college and there is a feeling that I should be getting promoted and move into more of an administrative role. This would move me further away from teaching and students. That isn't what I want to do. I want to teach.

I am definitely an employee. I am ordered to do things, I lack the power to keep things in place, or make changes on my own. At times it is appealing to think that I could direct changes that would affect the classroom.

What I find to be satisfying to work with students and affect changes there. There are pangs that I am not keeping the progression going and that in the end I will be in trouble. And yet I find so much contentment in watching individuals grow.

I listened to an interview with Scott A. Sandage who wrote the book "Born Losers: A History of Failure in America". One statement he made was that Americans resent lack of ambition more than they resent lack of achievement. I relate to that. I find that I struggle with that within myself as well, probably even more than I hear it from others.