Let fear be our guide

I got this e-mail from a friend. 

Isn't it Time for us to get a backbone as well? America Needs A Leader Like This!  Prime Minister John Howard - Australia  

Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia , as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks. 

Separately, Howard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's mosques. Quote: 'IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali , we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians.'   

'This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom'. 

'We speak mainly ENGLISH; not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society . Learn the language!' 

'Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.' 
'We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us.' 

'This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom, 
'THE RIGHT TO LEAVE'.' 

'If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted.' 

Maybe if we circulate this amongst ourselves, American citizens will find the backbone to start speaking and voicing the same truths. 
If you agree please SEND THIS ON.

My thoughts

• Many, who appreciate this rhetoric above, like the person who sent this to me, also lament the idea that America needs to get back to its "Christian" roots. It is hard to put Howard's words next to that bit in the Bible about "love your enemies and do good to those who hate you". The way I see it is that they seem polar opposites. So I wonder, who is moving the country away from its "Christian" roots?

• I guess gratitude is not felt towards the natives who lived here when the Europeans arrived. If they were welcomed in they took over. If they weren't welcomed, conflict ensued and the Europeans won. Over the years each group found its way to America and in doing so, found a home.

• It is so hard to look at ourselves and judge our own actions. It is so much easier to judge those we believe are out to do us harm.

• Fear divides people. Love unites. Perfect love casts out fear. We all want to feel safe. I can be as guilty as anyone to want to be protective. 
  

Fine! We'll do it your way!

When feel I am wronged, my temptation is sometimes to become bitter. Isn't that what the "fine, if that is what you want, I will make sure I do it" response is? Implicit in that remark is I will behave myself, but in payment for my compliance I get to resent you for forcing me to agree to this.

It seems that to walk in a way that honors God, I need to be honest and straightforward with what I am thinking. If I get into the "fine, we'll do it your way so I can hate you" response, I am not honoring to God, to the person I am in conflict with AND I do not honor myself.

If I do go down that road, it can be very treacherous to my soul.

Nostalgia

This weekend we have been working on a project that involves going through hundreds of photos from our past. It has been an eye-opening experience for me. I am seeing the world through much different eyes than the ones that look back at me from the photos. I am struck by the look of innocence and naiveté on my face. Pictures of friends and family who's stories have have turned out less than they had hoped for, are haunting.

Those days are gone. There is no ability to get them back. So we reflect and evaluate. We look at the roads we took as well as the roads we didn't. Reflected in those photos were both good and not so good. In photos, it's mostly the joyful happy times we photograph. I didn't see any cameras flashing at Nancy's funeral. But the sadness hides on the outer edges of the photos as we remember what was also taking place at those times.

Memory is a balancing act. I am tempted to think about what my life would have been if I had made other choices and I am inclined to feel sad. And yet when I look at the life my wife and I have built, I wouldn't trade any of it. Not one bit.

Looking through the pictures, I feel a sense of wonder and sadness. I believe that is what we call nostalgia. Nostalgia, that emotion that holds reverence and regret in tension at the same time.

Love sees value

I saw a news clip about the rescue of a little pup from a muddy cave. When the dog came out, it was licking the face of its rescuer. I wondered where it came from and if it was missed.

I think of our little pup. She has developed bonds within the family. She gets so excited when she sees us. Her joy is expressed vigorously in her tail.

Love makes sacrifices necessary for her to have a place in our home. Love says we will never forget her and that she matters in our lives.

Love sees the value in this little animal.

In a second

I had forgotten to mail a letter before I got to work. I turned around and drove to where I knew a post box was. I had a strange thought the it might be better to stay at work so I didn't get into an accident.

I moved out into an intersection as I saw a SUV approaching fast. I slowed down. The SUV did not. I was a seccond away from being t-boned. I stopped and watched the vehicle fly by me a mere 10 feet away.

I realized that a second sooner and I would have been further through the intersection and the outcome could have been much different. Every second in our life counts, and a second has the potential to dramatically alter our life forever.

Barking at a snowman

My pup went out to pee the other night and went to a side of the house she hasn't gone to much because of deep snow. She ran out of my line of sight and started barking furiously. As I rounded the corner, I saw what she was yapping at. It was a 5 foot high snowman. After a minute of the snowman not moving, she lost interest and focused on her business at hand.

My pup chooses barking when she comes across something that scares her. Being so small she is so much out of her element. She barks, but doesn't sound very frightening, more annoying.

I wonder what I look like when I become frightened?

Soma speaking

Shoveling heavy snow the other day, I did something to my back. For the past week now I have been hobbling around as spasms lash out punishing sudden movement. Even sneezing is cause for great anxiety. I was laughing with some friends about how age shows up and presents its calling card.

From the time we are born the body is breaking down. Anatomies start to work less efficiently as the years roll by. Maybe what the body is helping us do is to encourage us to lose some attachment for it, allowing us to get us ready for the day we can shed this skin for something far more effective.

Fitting in

My daughter purchases sweatshirts these days and cuts them in the front, claiming that she doesn't fit in them the way they are. At an event today with her and a number of her friends, most of them were wearing their sweatshirts with the same cut in them. I realized today what I had been suspecting all along. It's not her sweatshirt she needs to fit in to, it's her peer group.

Parent appreciation

When you become a parent your idea of time changes. Before parenting you can measure results in the immediate future. As a parent, when you do something for your child your expectation moves to years. There is no way that a child can understand the sacrifices made, until they have to make the same sacrifices.

As a parent then, your timetable moves ahead in time to the point where your child will experience pouring out their resources for the good of their child, or someone else. At that time, it is hoped that the realization and the gratitude will be there for the sacrifices made for them.

My thinking now is "ten years or so down the road, maybe they will be thankful I did this for them today".

Change happens

My supervisor left last week and a new one has stepped into his shoes. When the announcement came that he was leaving, everyone was dealing with it in their own way. What always surprises me is that the older we get, the more we know that nothing stays the same. But when noticeable change happens we are always taken by surprise.

Highway connecting

At first I thought the woman on my left was waving and blowing kisses at me. I had no idea who she was, I didn't recognize the vehicle or the random kiss-blower. It increased as a van passed me on the right into a turn lane. The man in the van was waving and blowing kisses back, with me in the middle. The van disappeared to my right. As the van receded, the woman's displays of affection extinguished. It took me a minute to realize that she was waving at a person in the van who she cared about, the person in the van was waving at a person that he cared about and that that neither were intentionally affectionating with me. (I know "affectionating" isn't a word, but you have to admit, it works)

There have been days where my wife and I have traveled the same roads. We have shared our own love gestures between our seperate vehicles. Now I wonder if anyone else was a an unintended recipient of our affection.

We are always looking for ways to connect to those who mean something to us. We want the other to know, in as many ways as possible that we are thinking about them. And it feels good when they are noticing us and reciprocating.

So as I'm trying to understand the situation it took me I'm sure glad I wasn't reciprocating.

It's not McFair!

This morning I was in the drive thru line at McDonalds. They had the two order kiosks and I was in lane 2. I got there before another car, but because they were slow in the window, the other car got ahead of me.

I felt rage! There was a fiery second there when I wished I had a rocket launcher. The rage passed, but I felt a strong sense of frustration. The car ahead of me was slow and when he was done receiving his items he sat there. I don't think he was attempting to taunt me, but tell my anger that!

If I believe that I am beyond feeling that I need things to be fair, it is circumstances like today which bring to the forefront that I DEMAND that the world be fair.

I'm old enough to know that the world will never be fair, that unfair things happen all the time, and I need to respond in ways that don't need a rocket launcher to level the playing field.

Go to hell

Listening to a podcast from Trinity Church in Greenville Connecticut with Ian Cron, he talked about encountering a man who was self absorbed and everyone else was afraid to deal with him for fear of him unleashing on them. In his words he said, "I wanted to tell the man 'go to hell', but I realized that he was already there"!

Hell is a place for self absorbed people. I don't it means a place somewhere else that you go to when you die. I believe that it is a very real option for our lives right now, and if we go to hell after we die, I believe that it is a continuation of where we have been, but in another dimension.

Master of the snow pile

Walking into a grocery store last night, I observed a boy who was about 3 or 4. He had on a red puffy coat, jeans and dark blue moon boots. He was concentrating mightily to scale a 3 foot high snow pile left by the snow plowers.

He made grunting noises and had the determined composure of a seasoned mountain climber. His mom was patiently holding one hand. He made it to the top of the drift and lifted one hand and roared a victory dance.

It took me a minute to assess what was in his other hand. It was a dirty white threadbare and frayed blanket. It was clutched under his arm where it wasn't going anywhere.

With his mom's hand firmly holding his, he hurled himself to the pavement below, and bounded through the double doors to encounter the world of groceries.

We can be brave, but we all carry our security with us, as either something that can be seen, or not revealed to others. But it is there clutched tightly so it is difficult for it to slip out.

Following a cop

It is so hard to follow a cop, especially in a 30 mph zone, where it feels you should be doing more. When the cop does 40mph do you keep up or still do the speed limit?

What do I do? The speed limit of course!

Many years ago I was the last car in a group of cars on the freeway. We were all doing 10 miles over the speed limit. I thought I was safe bringing up the rear. Au contraire! An officer came up behind me with his lights on. I was instructed by speaker that I should follow him and not attempt to drive away, because he had my license number. I followed him as he proceeded to go to the car ahead and give them the same instructions. We formed an unholy caravan behind the officer as he methodically contacted each driver. All told, the officer wrote out six speeding tickets for the lot of us. Not a bad haul for an afternoon.

I am thankful for the protection that the police bring to our community. But that doesn't mean they can't be sneaky.

Alone

Yesterday was Nancy's funeral. I expected to be red-eyed throughout. I wasn't. The times I cried were when the I saw acts of comfort being delivered to the overwhelmed. I watched as one of Nancy's good friends, rubbed Nancy's mom's shoulder when the coffin lid was shut. The amount of shuddering of the shoulders let those behind her know that she was having a rough go of it. Denise, Nancy's friend, now comforted Nancy's mom. The shuddering subsided and she dabbed a tissue under her glasses. Those were the times when I teared up.

That scenario was repeated over and over. As grief swelled to overwhelm the attendee, another close by would rub their back, hug them, and just let the overwhelmed know that they were not alone.

Is'nt that what scares us? I know it does me. To be alone. It is so healing when someone else is able to acknowledge our pain and demonstrate in a physical way that there is comfort.

What lies buried

This morning when I raised my garage door, many little bits of newspaper fluttered around in the wind. Christmas Eve my wife couldn't find the paper. She had decided that it hadn't come. Later as I was clearing the driveway, the snowblower jammed and then shut off. I was frustrated. I got out a stick to clear it.

I found the newspaper. Caught in the tangle of blades made it unreadable. I dug, and dug, and finally freed it. When I started the blower up again. a shower of paper bits fouled the air, and shortly thereafter, the ground around me.

Apparently the newspaper delivery person decided that the middle of the driveway with many inches covering the blacktop was a good placement of the paper. More than likely the delivery person didn't worry too much about placement but was looking for uncomplicated.

It made me think of things that been thrown in my life by careless people, or my own carelessness. It can lay there buried unseen. It jams up a life and takes time to clear away the debris. And sometimes the mess it leaves can stay for a while.

I think the answer is to be careful what you include in your own life, and accept that sometimes "Shit happens." Unstick the clog and live with the mess.

Back to routine

Today officially marks the last day of the holiday season. For all those who are going back to work and school tomorrow, life gets back to routine.

I am looking forward to getting back to routine. It is fun to take some time off, to enjoy with family and friends. But it becomes apparent to me as the days pass by that this is not real life. I was not created for this. I find that as the time I'm off lengthens I become increasingly antsy to get back to work.

There is something very comforting about routine, and it is tough to survive for any length of time without it. Just ask the newly retired. We were made to dance to the rhythms of life and routine gives us the dance steps. At work we know what's expected of us.

Christmas shopping can be stressful with the expectations to conform to ambiguous standards of caring. How much do we spend on others, and what does that say about our thoughts about them? At work we have measurable objectives that must be reached that are not based on personal value as much as production. There is comfort in that.

Routine can destroy us without the times like the holidays where we can be free of the shackles of routine for a few days. It help us focus on the meaning of the different aspects of our lives.

Returning to work can be a love/hate relationship. But it is all about balance. In this case the balance between regimen and free reign.