In February I went to an association convention that I used to be on the board of. I ran into many dear friends. But I realized that that was not my world any more.
It is strange to not belong to something I used to belong to. It is a strange feeling of being an outsider to something that I used to be an insider to. It’s like an adult holding a favorite childhood toy. There is a thrill of memory, but there is no use or desire for it now.
In moving away from a formulaic faith, salvation is much harder to define. It was much easier for proselytizing purposes to have a “salvation” by number kit, pray these eleven words “I confess my sin and accept Jesus as my personal savior”. If done correctly, salvation was promised.
As God has expanded for me, so have the variations of salvation. It is no easier to define how to have a relationship with God, than it is to describe all the aspects of a perfect marriage.
As she talked I looked at the landscape that I lived in a long time ago. What I don’t miss is the suffocating guilt that went with that world. Like a balloon, I have slipped my tether and am floating in a different direction. I’m not sure where it will land, but I am enjoying the journey. And I don't feel guilty about it.
4 comments:
... and floating, ascending, discovering a change of atmosphere!
We are not called to be "Christians", we are not called to be Covenanters or Baptists. We are called by that still small voice that says "follow me". In following there is surrender, in surrendering, there is loss of control and in that there is real faith. The longer we seek, the more we learn of God, and the less we know. Amazing isn't it.
MJ I love that definition. It articulates what I believe and haven't been able to form into words.
Thanks
Jim:
So much of what you write about rings true with me. Good or Bad? Nice to know that I am not alone.
Blessings,
MJ
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