A ghost of counseling past

Dropping my daughter off at a church event, a tall slender young male stared at me. He came over to me and asked if my name was Jim. I said it was. He then said that he thought I knew his parents. He told me their name and I did. I looked harder at him. I worked with his family when he was a 14-year-old boy after he had been brutally assaulted at school.

He told me that he was now 17 and will be a senior at his high school. He had a bright infectious smile that drew you in. He looked so well put together and I'm sure he is doing better. It was rewarding for me to see a small part of the outcome of some of the work I did with families.

I realize that under that bright exterior there is a caldron of pain that bubbles in the depths. It is easy as a young man to hide what lies beneath. His appearance was radiant and it would be easy to believe that everything is all right. He looked like a spitting image of his dad and I am aware of the pain that lies there.

I’m sure when his dad married his mom, all was hopeful and bright. His dad probably looked a lot like his son, clever and full of potential. What wasn’t seen was his bi-polar illness that cost him his family. Most don’t enter into a relationship looking scary and damaged. But it does find its way to the surface and we can be surprised at whom we said, “I do” to.

Enough of the dark side! I was excited to touch a part of my past, to know I made a difference even if it was small. I was also taken with the understanding that no matter what happens at any given time, life goes on, for better or for worse, and there is little we can do to stop it.