In church a speaker talked about his experience working as a Christian in a Moslem population. I was looking forward to a greater cultural understanding. What I got was offending; language, at least to me and those I was with. As I reflected on his offending remarks, I sat through his multiple uses of the word “retard”, his use of the word “fag” in the telling of a story, as well as his casual statement “if you’re not offended yet, stick around”. Where I got up and left is when he verbally reproached a person who was leaving, having a chilling effect on others in the congregation who may have been contemplating leaving. It struck me odd that a church who focuses on the grace and love of Jesus, would tolerate the incident of public shaming.
Last night I attended a high school production of “Les Miserables”. In the lyrics the high schoolers had to deliver were swear words, and crude references to sex. I did not walk out. In fact I was moved by the play and the power of the production. The offending material was simply overlooked.
What I am offended by provides a way to understand what is important to me. It defines me. it allows me to define the lines that savages my values when they are crossed.
Our lines are as unique as our fingerprints. We all have different toleration points. We may join groups that all have similar toleration points on certain issues, abortion and torture come to mind.
The next time I am offended by someone it will be helpful for me to realize that this person is giving me a gift. When I find myself offended, I am more clearly defining who I am, and with that knowledge I can decide whether this is a value I want to hold on to, or let go of.
How do I assess the two incidents listed above? I’m not concerned about high schoolers singing ribald songs. If they are unaware of those topics, then they are harmfully isolated from the culture we live in. The writers of “Les Miz” wanted to establish the characters singing those lines as repulsive, and it works. As far as the speaker, where I voted with my feet was when shame was projected on another. While the other words may have conveyed hurt and shame, they were not directed to anyone in particular. Singling out a person to shame and intimidation I see as wrong and unjust. Standing up to that wrong is a strong value for me and one worth fighting for. That is a very core value for me.
I owe gratitude to the speaker for helping me see more of who I am and what I am willing to take action against.
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1 comment:
I guess I look at one as being artistic and the other as being offensive. I have a hard time with anyone using the word "fag" simply because it is meant to hurt someone. I don't like music that uses the "n" word. I find that offensive. There's a time and place for everything, and I don't believe Church is the place to use hateful words.
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