Do I really know you?

The woman in class had a mound of tissue piled in front of her on her desk. Her sniffling could be heard through the darkened room. She continued her display of emotion, apparently unconcerned about what others were thinking of her. In the class I have found her emotional and sensitive, but never unreasonably so.

We were watching a movie with themes of unfulfilled childhoods, lack of connection between family members and an untimely death. I have cried at this movie in the past, so I found no inconsistency with someone else crying because of the movie.

After class I was talking to another teacher. For some reason, this woman’s name came up, and the teacher called this person a "wacko". She told a story of being called in to administration and read the riot act by this person. I found it fascinating that that is so far from my experience of her. This other teacher wanted to stay as far away as possible from her.

It occurred to me how little we know of others. We see facets of another person. We can see different people within the shell of the same person. It felt sad to hear the judgments heaped down on this woman that I found so sensitive and engaging in my class.

I was reminded of what C.S. Lewis wrote in his book “Mere Christianity”. He said about humans: “God judges them by their moral choices…when a person who has a pathological horror of cats forces himself to pick up a cat for some good reason, it is quite possible that in God’s eyes he has shown more courage than a healthy man…Some of us who seem quite nice people, may in fact, have made so little use of a good heredity and a good upbringing that we’re really worse than those we regard as fiends. That is why Christians are told not to judge. We see only the results, which a man’s choices make out of his raw material. But God does not judge him on the raw material at all, but on what he has done with it.”

I think this is frighteningly true. I am reading “Unholy Messenger” which tells the story of the BTK killer. What I am finding so remarkable is how a person who had such an evil side could fit so well into a small town society. It is a testament to how little we truly know about another person.

I look at the woman crying in class. I have judged her to be sensitive and caring. Another has labeled her crazy. Who is right? Can we really say we know?