Make my own

I went out to lunch with a friend. We went to a Chinese restaurant and at the end when the bill came, there were two "fortune cookies" on the tray. I broke mine open and it was empty. I looked puzzled. My lunch partner broke hers open as well. It was empty as well.

As we contemplated the situation, it became clear that what the fortune cookie said was ... make your own fortune. Wow, what a burden!

Caught in YouTube hell

If there is a hell it may look a lot like YouTube. I go to the website to look for videos I can use in class. On the right side of the web page, next to the video I have searched for is a column labeled "related videos". I'm watching the video I selected, while finding the related ones enticing. I finish watching the chosen video and click on another one. I watch that one with another video in my peripheral vision. I click on that one. ...

An hour later I close out my web browser because I have to go teach. As I head towards the classroom I question whether what I had been involved in has enhanced my existence in any way. So quickly distracted from my goals, I haven't completed what I had set out to do. But I've watched a lot of videos.

I know the classical version of hell is a burning torment with wailing moans and grinding teeth. But I think there is a hell of distraction as well. I distract myself by my own inquisitive nature with material designed to entice and pull me into the grasp of the web master. I strongly question what I have consumed. More times
than not I exit YouTube and find that I am left with a stuffed curiosity and a starved sense of fulfillment.

He's just not that into you

In teaching Imterpersonal Relations one book that has consistently been chosen for a final project is the book "He's just not that into you". I guess that they are making a movie out of it as well. The book seems to find resonance with women who feel devalued by men, and hearing some of their stories I would whole heartedly agree.

I came across a quote that came from the novel "Howard's End" that in three words captures the essence of the book. The quote is "Unworthiness stimulates women". I think those three words brilliantly sum up the book.

Wants and needs

I was at the apps store for my iPod Touch. I discovered an application there that was so useful that my pulse quickened. I saw the new possibilities open before me like the Red Sea. I NEEDED THIS APP!

I read further. As it turn out, for it to work I needed to upgrade a program on my Mac that would set me back $71.00.

I didn't want to spend that much money, as I didn't NEED the upgrade. But I WANTED the new app. In the end I did an assessment of my life and what I needed, and that very useful, can't live without it, application didn't make the cut. I do admit that now when I see it advertised, I feel a tinge of longing. But I can tell myself that I don't need it, that my life is fulfilling as is.

I am reminded once again that contentment is not a place I spend myself into, but rather a choice to be at peace with where I'm at.

Losing big

I was in the room when " The Biggest Loser" came on TV. I stayed on the couch and watched. At the end of the show I was conflicted about what I had seen.

On the one hand it was heartwarming to get a glimpse of the person inside the obese shell that tends to solicit our stereotypes. When they expressed their vulnerabilities at having the world see their true weight, it was hard not to feel empathy for them. For a brief instant their pain could be felt by others, and prejudices reduced ever so slightly. And that is a good thing.

It is also powerful to see people work at something and achieve their goals and their dreams. It sends a powerful message of hope.

On the other hand, it is troubling to see people so desperate to fit in to larger societal demands of compliance, that they would humiliate themselves in front of world. Do they do it just for the opportunity to fit into clothes worn by people who view them as stereotypes? What message does that send to the up and coming eating disordered?

While on the one hand it brings humanity to obesity, it also shows the powerful sense of shame and deep internal pain that they live under. Numbers of them have tried other methods and failed. Now they are willing to play again in plain view of an ogling public in the hope of lasting success and social acceptance.

While I wish a the contestants on "The Biggest Loser" well, I also wish well to those who have decided that the cultural standard of attractiveness does not define their personal worth.

The Twilight sacrifice

My daughter and I have been reading through the "Twilight" series. While it is definitely teenage material, there have been some things that I really like about the series.

Tonight I saw the movie. I thought the book was much better, but it reminded me of one of the parts of the story I enjoyed. Self control.

The story is about a vampire, Edward Cullen, who falls madly in love with a girl who just moved into town from Phoenix, named Isabella. While the smell of her blood creates a strong desire in him, his love for her keeps him from devouring her, literally. Even though there are times when Bell wants to become a vampire to be with Edward forever, he doesn't get sucked (sorry) into doing something he believes will diminish her, and take away her life. Even if she appears willing to deal with the ramifications of the transformation to a vampire's life, Edward, who knows all too well the price to be paid, refuses to fulfill her wish. At the end of movie, Edward controls his lust and in sacrificing his intense desire, saves her life.

I know this is a leap, but what if teenage boys would be willing to control their lust, rather than mascarading it as love? What if boys were more concerned about protecting the one they loved rather than being urged to use protection? I wonder if it would have an effect on the teen pregnancy rate?

The sad reality is that Edward's noble sacrifice will most likely be missed by the boys watching the movie. They will most likely be attending the show to soften up the girl for maneuvers afterwards, while the girl waits to give her treasure to the boy she believes loves her.

That ol' time religion

A Somali politician was excecuted for apostacy this week. He was accused of working with non-Muslim aid workers.

Doesn't hearing that bit of news, kind of make you miss the good ol' days of the early Christian church where people were put to death because they really didn't want to hear what the opposition had to say.

I don't understand why we as human beings believe we need to kill those who disagree with our point of view. And if we don't kill others our job is to destroy the other.

And it wasn't just the Catholic Church. The reformers has a tendency to kill the opposition as well.

While I think Rodney King had some significant personal issues, he asked a very relevant question, after his beatings sparked the LA riots. Why can't we all just get along? Good question, Rodney.

Theft protection system ... check!

My 1998 Malibu and I spent many years together before it was transferred to other members of the family. One of the state of the art systems it has integrated in it is a theft prevention system. It detects keys being placed in its ignition slot. If the key is not an Malibu certified and approved of key, the car will not start for 15 minutes. The car doesn't care what you are willing to do or sacrifice for starting priviledges. It sees you as a thief and will twart your misdeeds by not starting until it is sure of your motives.

I guess the Malibu theft system makes the assumption that a thief will not deal with a car that is playing hard to get.

Welcoming routine

For most of my life I have struggled with embracing routine. I think my wife fell in love with me because of my resistance to routine. Years ago we worked at the same company. She extended time cards and I never came in at the same time each morning. Okay, maybe it was my height, but I'm sure she noticed me more when she had to put extra effort into my time card.

So imagine my surprise when I discovered last week that I was looking forward to getting back to work. If I were honest with myself, my life was falling apart from all my free time.

At work it is nice to see people I haven't seen in a while. It's nice to have familiar demands to meet. And In this economy it's nice to have a job to go to.

The thinnest veneer

The thermometer displayed an outside temperature of -3 degrees. I was downstairs getting a glass of milk. I was barefoot and in my sleep pants. What struck me with amazing force is how precarious my sense of control is. If the electricity quit, my situation would become extremely difficult and possibly even deadly.

Yet I go through each day taking for granted the very thing that keeps me alive. If you extend it out, there are many things that I take for granted; properly functioning internal organs, fresh air, the care with which other drivers stay in their lanes on the roadways.

I'm not advocating being fearful all the time, but I want to be more aware of how delicate my situation is, and my utter dependence on the continued functioning of systems that maintain my fragile existence.

Too much sun?

This morning on the way to church the air was frozen and the sun blazed. I was surprised. In the brilliant light all the colors around me were muted. The world looked almost two dimensional.

Is there such a thing as too much clarity? Do colors disappear with too much light?

Singing like siblings

There is a story about the singing of carols on the battlefield during WW1. The Germans started singing, the British joined in, and for a brief few minutes brotherhood won. For a brief few moments guns were laid down and arms embraced. And then it was over. They picked up their rifles and resumed the war. It is a moving story of the power of a song and a season. But it ends too soon. There is no sustaining power to make it last.

Two things come to mind. First, everyone had to share the same holiday for it to have meaning. If someone started singing Ramadan songs, to the "christians" I don't think the fighting would have stopped. And who knows how the Germans would have responded if someone had starting singing songs of Hanukkah. That the different sides were from the same closely related faith practice made the scenario more plausible and sad.

The other thing that occurs to me is that maybe the reason the story resonates with us is it may be closer to our own life patterns. We sing the hymns in church on Sunday and have no trouble shooting at others on Monday.