Who gets justice?

Last week it was reported that Alec Baldwin verbally abused his 11-year-old daughter on the phone calling her "a rude, thoughtless little pig.". In defending himself he talked about how hard it is to not get angry at the horrible treatment he has received at the hands of his daughter's mother.

This isn't the first time he has been caught in a rant. On one of the talk shows years ago he went off on Prosecutor Ken Starr over the investigation of Bill Clinton with Monica Lewinski. He actually called for Ken Starr's assassination. Now here he is again. And how does he spin this? He plans to write a book on the injustices done to divorced dads. Is it injustice that he doesn't like or exposure? I wonder who would purchase it. Would it be all those other people who are looking for justification for their own bad behavior?

Personally I can't wait for his daughter to grow up so she can write a book about the injustices of children who get beat up emotionally, physically, and verbally just because they have parents who won't grow up and control themselves.

Ah, the narcissism of youth

Walking down to the river, we encountered two girls dipping their bare feet into the river. They had ridden their bicycles to the location. The bikes were sprawled across the walking path, so much so that we had to step off the path to get around them. It was obvious that the girls didn't consider the obstacles they created for walkers. I don't think that they purposely laid their bikes down to create obstacles; it just wasn't part of their consideration.

When do we start thinking about others? Is it that we wake up one day and decide we are going to care? Or is it a slow realization that we are not alone in this world and what we do matters in the lives of others?

I know for myself that it has been a process of learning to think about others, and not consider what I need as much. I also believe that at least one mark of maturity in the process of maturing is that the more we do it, the more we realize that the world isn't here to serve us.

While I get nervous with those people who don't appear to act at all in their own self interest, I am more nervous with those adults who don't consider other's needs when making their decisions.

But as a kid, you are not expected to be mature. In fact there is very little that the world expects from them. So when I encounter the bikes, I step around with a smile and think to myself, “Don't rush it. There will be time enough to be mature when you grow up. Splash in the water and enjoy yourself. I will be responsible to consider your needs and your age.”

Walls

The military is proposing building a wall through Baghdad to quell the insurgents. Walls, always walls.

What message are they sending to the world?

Walls are for keeping out, for separating, for protection. Some of the reasoning makes sense to me. I know that there needs to be an end to the ability of insurgents to be able to penetrate into neighborhoods and spread their brand of evil.

But walls are never a means for moving forward. I suffered a weird convergence from reading the book "The world is flat". Thomas Friedman warns us that wall building only keeps us stuck in the past, but does not move us ahead. At the same time there is an effort in Baghdad to make gated communities. In the same time period, I heard of a commentary of comparing President Bush to President Reagan who said in a speech "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that wall!" He was referring to the Berlin wall, and ending communism. That is not what appears to be happening in Baghdad. They are constructing walls.

I was walking through several communities in an attempt at some exercise. I was going to cut through an apartment complex into another neighborhood. I couldn't. There was a wall up, which prohibited me from passing. I had to walk a considerable distance around the obstacle to get where I wanted to be.

The message is clear. We don't welcome your type here! Just leave us alone.

I am not naive in believing that we should welcome all with open arms. The place where the fence is placed around the apartment is probably host to some citizens that do not act in law-abiding ways. In putting up a wall we say loud and clear that we refuse to deal with you.

What the insistent insurgents have demonstrated over and over again is that walls will not stop them. They will be dealt with and the consequences are so much more undesirable.

Recognizing scars

At the coffee shop today I stood in line behind a woman who had very short hair. The way it was presented I assume she had gone through chemotherapy for cancer. Having had someone I care about go through it, I can instantly spot the characteristics of hair growing back from being lost. My heart went out to her and I looked at her as a brave survivor. As she turned to leave there was a scar on the exposed area of her chest from where it appeared a port was placed to deliver the chemo drugs. It was slightly bruised and looked as if it were healing.

We notice scars that others may be oblivious to. Trauma, and pain leave scars. Only those who have suffered similarly recognize those scars. My heart went out to this brave woman who I know has faced some sobering and terrifying times.

So many traumas and scars, each with a different story. If I haven't suffered in similar ways then I remain ignorant, and must be dependent on others who have suffered to tell me what their experience is like.

Others in the coffee house might have seen the bruising and wondered its origin. I recognized it immediately. I watched while someone I care about was injured in much the same way.

Crow about something that counts!

"I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required," Crow added.

These are the words of Sheryl Crow on Earth Day.

Sheryl Crow is no friend of the environmental movement if she makes stupid statements like this! It was the running joke yesterday and the visuals that it conjured up were not very pleasant. Is she advocating that there should be a police force in The Department of Homeland Security running around monitoring toilet paper use? And what exactly would the fines be if some offender was caught?

Crow's problem is that in talking like an environmentalist she says something that is so asinine that the mass populace looks at her as a nut burger, along the same lines as those who quit their jobs, don white robes, and climb to the mountaintop to await Jesus' return.

So we can debate whether a square a visit to the can is adequate to bring about environmental restoration, which shifts us off the argument whether the vehicles that move those asses from place to place may be more of the problem in terms of pollution and energy consumption.

Way to go Crow! Everyday may be a winding road, but you've succeeded in putting some pretty formidable potholes in that road.

Spritzer my ass

In looking for ways to shave calories from my daily consumption, I found this item at the grocery store. It was a one-calorie per spray for applying to leafy substances many dieters devour. I bought it, because in the past I have heard weight gurus talk about calorie reductions happening if you dip your salad into the dressing on the side.

In considering this spritzer product, there was an intuitive sense that it would be even easier to apply dressing to the salad with a more focused approach than dipping. I was energized in putting the bottle in the cart.

At home that night I decided to apply the product to the salad I had assembled. One pump of the plunger equaled one calorie. I decided to live large and shot four squirts onto the green leaves. I stabbed it with my fork and shoved it in my mouth. I bit down expecting a burst of satisfying flavor. I gave two chews and then lingered waiting for an indication that what I was chewing was more than just lettuce.

There was no flavor other than heavy lettuce flavor. No tang, no zip. Just lettuce. Oh wait! What was that? I guess it is nothing, still lettuce.

I sprayed more on with similar results. I couldn’t taste the spritz. In frustration I unscrewed the bottle top and poured it over my salad. I could taste the flavor, but I totally lost track of calories in any event.

I don’t think this product is going to catch on unless they started haranguing the R and D department to produce more taste. If it did would there be emergency room conditions that resulted from overdependence on spritzing? There is a medical condition resulting in painful thumbs from over-indulging the scroll wheel on a Blackberry e-mail device. It’s known as Blackberry thumb. We could call this condition Spritzer finger. I can tell you that the only medical condition I could potentially suffer from is it rebounding from the wall I threw it at.

I think I'm safe. If I threw it at the wall, even though it has no taste, I would put money on the idea that if the container broke, it would stain the walls and I would be forced to paint. And that would piss me off in a whole new way.

A walk to learn from

The weather was pleasant and cool, a perfect day for a walk. On the walk the first sight that I noticed was a woman who was lying in the grass. it got me thinking about concepts that would be helpful to remember. I came up with a few.


Lesson 1: Don't waste the sunny days. Get out and enjoy every moment you can, even if you can only spare minutes.




Lesson 2 Bridges make obstacles easier to encounter. Don't take them for granted.




Lesson 3 Take some time to watch the river run, or paint dry, but just observe the workings of nature.






Lesson 4 Life doesn't make things happen. You do. Make them happen.



Lesson 5 Don't be afraid to get help with a new skill.







Lesson 6 Don't neglect spending time with people you care about.





Lesson 7 Don't forget that life has pain. Don't be afraid to face sorrow and mourn.






Lesson 8 Don't neglect your physical needs.






Lesson 9 Don't have fun at other people's expense.








And finally Lesson 10 Don't neglect play. Play is what gives us the energy for working hard.

Uneasy

President Bush attends a memorial service for the students gunned down at Virginia Tech the day after it happened. I can't help but wonder if he learned from his absence in the wake of Katrina to show up promply or people will see you as uncaring, or if it is a difference in demographics? I can honestly say, I don't know.

I am not a Bush hater. I believe he is a man who is basically good. But I think that what is coming to light is an attitude that may be carried by Bush, but most certainly by his administration and political base as placing loyalty and belief above competency, and its flaws are starting to be revealed.

Too efficient?

I used the restroom at a restaurant we were dining at. Above the sink the paper towel dispenser hovered. I bent to put my hands in water. A length of towel was automatically dispensed. I stood up to make it stop, as it was motion activated. It stopped. As I bent over, it started again. I stood up frustrated. It stopped. I bent over to rinse my hands and in the length of time it took me to wash soap off my hands, the paper towel dispensed was now piling up in the sink and getting wet.

I know the designers and the establishments are working to create efficiency, but I had to wad up the wet towel, dispose of it and then activate enough paper towel to dry my hands. It was frustrating and wasteful.

In another restroom at another restaurant, it was roomier and nothing was hovering. This time the facet was motion activated. I placed my hands under the facet and the water started. I completed my hand washing and as I was drying my hands, the water kept coming. I moved away hoping the water would stop. It didn’t. I stepped closer to it. It stopped suddenly. I moved away, pleased that there wasn’t wasted water. It started up again. I realized there was no way to shut it off. I left the washroom with the sound of running water in my ears.

In our desire for greater efficiency there is room for growth. It isn’t a perfect world, and in a weird sense, there is a comfort in these quirks. I realize that in this world, while many things work, there has to be some things that could be improved on. In an odd way, it lets me know that being human is still oaky.

Oh, the power of guilt

At work one of our co-workers put out a dish of M&M’s. She didn’t ask for any compensation. When it was depleted, she filled it, and we ate as we walked by. This had been the pattern for the last 3 weeks. I was feeling guilty so I purchased three bags and brought them in. I felt it was the least I could do for my indulgences.

I couldn’t find the pastels that my co-worker bought and I could only find “Shrek” M&M’s in “Ogre” size. I purchased them and when I got to work, I placed the bags on her desk, to assuage my guilt.

When she arrived, she had a grocery bag filled with M&M’s as well. I felt I was too late, she had purchased more, but at least I had done my part!

Another co-worker arrived and he was bearing gifts of more M&M’s with the comment “God, I’m munching on them all the time. I was starting to feel guilty myself."

I wonder if someone could put a dish out in a heavy trafficked area, purchase some seed candy, and let guilt fill the bowl after that? Maybe that was the experiment with my co-worker from the beginning.

Ubiquitous entertainment

On the way to work this morning I stopped for a traffic light. A black Volvo sedan pulled up next to me. In the back seat there was a toddler strapped into a car seat, tightly holding a bottle. He was staring straight ahead. Following his gaze my eyes rested on a 3x5 inch monitor strapped to the front seat headrest. A cartoon was flickering on the screen. The child's face was hypnotically focused on the screen.

As a parent I confess that I have used TV programming and video games as an electronic pacifier. Yet I felt uneasy watching this child mindlessly consuming these images as a way to interact with the world.

So much is learned from TV programming and movies. The media teaches us how to check out of life, to want for things we don't need, and to silence the need for quiet reflection.

I wonder if the proverbial childhood plea of "are we there yet" doesn't aid in the development of patience and toleration as the begging goes unheeded and the child is forced to make up traveling games or read. I wonder how our culture would be different if packaged entertainment was more difficult to obtain.

One thing that would happen is that the child would observe a world that is bigger than a 3x5 screen.

Opposing the Iraq war

As the fight heats up in our federal government, I have been attempting to understand what is causing my opposition to the war.

One idea that gets bandied about is that we as a nation have lost the stomach for it and we want our troops home. President Bush rode our bloodlust to kick somebody’s ass after 9/11, and chasing down Bin Laden wasn’t as satisfying as it was to begin with.

I can’t speak for the nation. It may very well be that many in this country have lost the nerve for war and it is upsetting to see the body count rise, with no end in sight.

I am opposd to the war because I have a serious loss of trust in this administration's ability to wage an effective war. In investigating how this war with Iraq has been fought, there have been some huge blunders that have cost us time, money, personnel, and the good will not only of the Iraqis but also of the Arab world in general. I have watched with a growing sense of uneasiness, how while we enjoyed the support of the world after 9/11, it has steadily eroded and in its place has grown a greater lack of support within the world. And I am not excited about continuing to throw more resources into what I consider a failed policy.

So when President Bush says “trust me, a surge is just what we need”, my response is to suffer serious bouts of mistrust of his leadership. Looking at evidence from the past I do not trust this administration. It appears that they are more willing to pick a fight than to talk and fighting hasn't been very successful so far. I also understand the difficulty of talking to nations where there is little truth exchanged.

One reason that I think it’s not a loss of stomach in dealing with Iraq, is that most people I have talked to, believe that we should be in Afghanistan. And if we had marshaled our resources in Afghanistan instead of being distracted by invading and occupying Iraq, we might be out of that country as well.

Slick "ministry"

Moving through radio channels I came across a campaign from a "ministry organization" talking about replacing 100 days of horror in with 100 days of hope in Rwanda brought by the gospel of Jesus Christ. The narrator gave a brief history, leaving out what started the massacre in the first place, who may have been responsible for it, as well as nations who sat by and let it happen.

The narrator talked about how this ministry donated four houses to some of the survivors of the massacre. There were one-minute sound bites from the recipients that spoke about responding to their life after receiving the gift. Near the end of the program the narrator stated that the Devil would be sorry that he ever messed with Rwanda

What I came away thinking was not that these people need to be careful so they don’t cross over from ministry into marketing. The reality is that it had already happened. This was a very well produced infomercial. Faith has been packaged into a product that can be marketed and sold.

Let’s drop the pretense. I watch Extreme Home Makeover. I am moved by the show and the kindness shown to a worthy individual. But I am not deceived into believing that this is anything other than a great idea for a show. Products are well placed within the show and they go to Sears department store evey week to buy items for the store. But the show is also a product and if they lose sponsors, the show would dry up like a crop in a drought.

I won’t judge the outcome. I didn’t go over there. But this program I am listening to is an advertisement, not a “praise report”.

We caught up with the devil and asked him if he was sorry that he messed with Rwanda. He just responded "Next".

Working the "offended" angle

Don Imus, a radio host has gotten in trouble for making racially offensive comments about female basketball players at Rutger’s University. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson have been shouting for firing him. In no way do I defend what Imus said. It was offensive and regardless of what he said was in his heart, he was offensive and insulting.

Having said that, what makes Imus unique? He makes a remark about the women of the basketball team and Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are howling for his firing. I can sit at a traffic light and I can be offended hearing loud music blaring from a vehicle referencing women as offensively if not more offensively as anything Imus said. I have attended basketball games where the word “bitch” is blasted from the speakers in the stadium. Where are Al and Jesse? Jackson and Sharpton aren’t leading crusades to keep groups of people from being demeaned. Dare I say it...They appear to be publicity "hoes". They go where the howling will be the loudest and attempt to howl louder. Steve Harvey, comedian and talk show host has been campaigning for a while that our entertainers should be more respectful of people, mainly women in their lyrics. He has stated that the “bitches and hoes” that are referenced are somebody's daughter, wife or mother. Where are Jesse and Al, attempting to howl louder and clean up the coarseness in lyrics?

I am all for advertisers pulling funding from controversial personalities. I don’t listen to people who I find offensive. I don’t purchase albums of those who put people down in their music or writing. But let’s not be hypocrites here! Why is it okay for an African American male to denigrate women, including African American women with impunity, but when a white male does it, all hell breaks loose? Seems like a double standard to me.

Hey Jesse and Al, why don’t you stick up for women across the board. Stop looking at color. There are personalities in our country that are not being held to the same standards you two claim you represent.

Negotiations 101

President Bush demonstrated today why he is in such a tough position politically. He doesn't know how to negotiate. He knows how to talk tough and sound mean. He knows how to throw insults around.

Headline an hour ago: Bush asks the Dems to talk.
Headline right now: Bush calls democratic leadership in congress "irresponsible."

You don't start talks off by declaring that your mind is made up and that you don't need to hear anything from the others who disagree with you.

"Let's talk. And I want you to know before we meet, I think you are an idiot."

Communications 101 Keep an open mind. Make up your mind after you talk. It really helps the discussion. Really it does.

One of God's gifts

A friend sent me this picture and reminded me of the thing I wait for in Spring. For my wife it is the sight of the first robin. For me it is the green pod that erupts into brilliant color. It says to me that no matter how hard life has been, no matter how ugly life can be, there is life that is waiting to explode, given the chance.

The gift to me of the tulip is the reminder that there is hope and life, even when it doesn't feel that way.

Obama appeal

Boy, the president is coming out swinging. He has the cahones to lay the lack of funding on congress and that they will have to answer to the soldiers and the families if they don't give the troops money. In some twist of reasoning, they are the immoral ones!

Several questions:
1. Who was the one who got us into this conflict in the first place?
2. Who put troops into battle without the necessary protection to the Humvees?
3. Who has said Iraq was getting better when it is not?

I could go on, but I will not. In my opinion this war has been one blunder after another and continues to be most characterized by a staggering level of arrogance. While promising to make this world safer, by bullying and arrogant tactics, it is my opinion that our world and our country has been put in a far more dangerous position.

Now this person has the chutzpah to lay the responsibility on congress for any tragedy occurring in our military.

HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU!

I'm no lover of the democrats. I have the seen same levels of hypocrisy and polarization. I am so tired of this blame game that many of our political leaders and some of our religious leaders play.

I am encouraged for Barak Obama's entrance into the race. He will go far if he talks about what he believes, and doesn't go negative by attacking his opponents. I don’t know if that will be enough for him to win. Negative attacks work and that is why they are employed election after election.

If he goes negative, he will join the long line of people continue to polarize this country and lead it away from the better angels of our nature.

Think before you paste

I have seen several of these bumper stickers in the last three weeks. I guess when I first saw it I had a confused reaction to the statement. I am not attempting to make fun of the person's beliefs, however two things come to mind.

Why would you put a sticker like that on your car? "I believe in the preciousness of all life, even the life of the unborn" would be an acceptable statement. With dignity and respect you could inform others of what you believe, if that is important to you. With the terrorist implication you polarize people. It seems to me that no one is going to change what he or she believes because you made such a harsh statement.

But second and more important is the meaning of the sentence itself. Anyone who understands what a terrorist's intention is would not compare an abortionist to a terrorist. Terror is designed to destabilize a political system, to cause people to think hard about whether they want to continue in a certain direction. The unborn are aborted, no political chilling effect.

A way to illustrate it would be through what happened on 9/11/2001 Terrorists took over planes and crashed them into buildings. If no one had claimed responsibility for the actions, it would have been the first example of serial killers operating in coordination. The fact is that the terrorists were not concerned about the lives they ended, including their own, flying planes into buildings. The point was to destabilize America and reduce its power in the world. The message was "leave the Arab world alone. If you do not, see what can happen to you." The people who died on the planes and in the building were simply words on a demand note to the rest of the country by emotional kidnappers.

When a fetus is aborted, there is no larger message made about needing to reconsider whether you consider pregnancy as an option for the future. Therefore an abortionist is not a terrorist to the unborn, any more than the hijackers were terrorists to the passengers in the planes that crashed into buildings.

If we believe in the message of love and acceptance, there is no place for polarization. I can state who I am and what I believe, but harsh words will never woo me over to your side, any more than I have felt empathy for terrorists who destroy innocent bystanders so their point can be made.