Kindness or compulsion

I accompanied my wife to a sale at Nordstoms in the Mall of America. There were chairs placed on the sales floor to accommodate the men's exhaustion from shopping with their women.

Between two chairs in the department, was on an end table. A piece of trash lay unmolested on the table; a discarded receipt.

A couple walked by, the woman stopped. She backed up, picked it up the paper and threw it in the trash.

At first I felt a pang of guilt. I had been content to let the crumpled paper lie there. Here was a woman who performed a kind responsible act for the environment. I was willing to allow the trashing of the planet. This woman, a self-appointed guardian of Mother Earth had stepped in and acted.

But then, as I thought on, I speculated what she must be like to live with. Maybe she’s not a planet guardian. Maybe she's just compulsive. Maybe she couldn't stop herself. Trash NEEDS to be picked up. Perhaps inside she was dying, trying not to pick up the trash. Maybe it wasn't a personal triumph, but rather a private failure.

A reason I believe it is the latter explanation is that this happened in the Mall of America, the shrine of the American consumer. Unlike much of the earth with its unprotected soil exposed, the mall is covered in concrete.

So to the woman I say: for peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe. Fight the urge, let some things go. You'll feel better. That's why I didn't pick it up. Or was it because I didn’t care?