What is left behind

I pass this building on my way to work. Who exactly is or was Martin J Ruter? As I pondered this I thought about the ceremony that was performed for the naming of this building. The person for whom the garage is named was bestowed a great honor within the organization. There was probably a lot of pomp and circumstance, there were probably long speeches and the recipient and his family probably shed a tear or two. Judging by the condition of the signage, it looks like it was relatively recent. The rest of us drive by wondering who this was, if we even notice it at all.

How many structures, roadways, airports, forests, have we encountered that are named after people have we never met, and most that we have no idea even who they are? These honors are so fleeting, and yet they persist.

Doesn’t this illustrate our desire for immortality?

Tired

Today I am dragging. This morning, the weariness of life descended on me like darkness and I have been struggling to shake it. As I look at what is on my plate, I feel that the needs I am dealing with are far greater than my resources are to meet them.

It is a lucid moment of truth in my denial of reality. I am inadequate in dealing with all that life is throwing at me. Life's problems are beyond what I am capable of dealing with. That is the truth.

I think that is why we were created to seek support from others. It always feels good when friends stand along side of me and let me know that they are there for me. At those times I don't feel alone. I feel that life is something I can do.

Just being there

Last week I installed tile in the basement. It was done in a hurry and because of that, it was done badly. It was so reminiscent of life, I had to scrape the tiles up and prepare the surface to tile it for a second time. Some of the mortar scraped up easily, but where the sun had hit it, it was more difficult. I became discouraged, as the mortar became more set. I scraped, my hand hurt and my frustration increased.

My daughter came down and asked me what I was doing. I explained my situation. She immediately asked if I would like some help. I responded that I would, but if I were honest, I would have to admit that I didn't think she would be able to contribute much.

I was wrong. She helped out immensely. Before I knew it, the area had been cleared and we were done. I don't know what she did that was so effective but her contribution paid off.

I honestly don't know if it was the work she did, or the encouragement she gave me just by taking some of the weight off my shoulders and not making me feel that everything was on me. Maybe it was a combination of both aspects, but the net result is that the job got done and I felt so relieved. I also realized that she shared in the credit for our success.

Bush one, congress nothing

After weeks of tough talk, Bush wins. Congress backs down, because either their plan was flawed or they were afraid to take the heat. I remember years ago, some advice I was told. "Avoid a power struggle at all costs. If you can't avoid a power struggle, then you had better win at all costs."

This would have been good advice for congress. It's hard not to look at Capital Hill and not see lack of moral courage. The Dems had better be careful. The only one who appears not to have flinched is President Bush. By flinching, congress has made Bush look stronger, and the Dems look weaker.

I learned many years ago working with teenagers that they will push the envelope way further than most adults feel comfortable with so when a power struggle ensues, they have the advantage. President Bush appears to be able to push the envelope much further than others feel comfortable with so he will have the advantage.

Meanwhile our troops in the field continue to be in harm’s way as the republicans and democrats dance.

Jargon

Our children go to a Christian University. We got a letter from the financial office informing us of additional money that they need to receive. At the end of the note it said that they hoped God would supply the additional funds needed. That touched a nerve inside of me.

I am sick of people who act like this is more than a business. I know it is important that spirituality be brought into everyday life, but let's get real, the effect will not be the same if I say back, I hope God will help you forgive me because I don't have the money to pay the bill.

Business is business. That's the bottom line. We had coaches tell us that they were interested in our sons to be able to play college sports, but also to grow them as godly young men. They are there to win games and if that means my sons sit the bench because they don't believe they will contribute to a win, they will do it. No amount of spiritual jargon will change that.

The blending of spirituality and practical living is a precarious balance, and I think the more rigid one is in their belief system, the harder it is to find that balance.

I-it, I-Thou, iPod

Martin Buber in his book “I and Thou” describes the relationship between I-thou and I-it and dialogue with the external world. “I-thou” is a relationship with another living being, based on mutuality, openness and directness, which is true dialogue. Not only is “I-Thou” a relationship between man and the world, but also man and the eternal source of the world. God can be known though the subjective view of the universe.

In “I-It” relationships partners are not equal. The relationship is one of coming to a greater understanding of the physical, objective knowledge. “I-It” relationships are absent of the “I-Thou” qualities. “I-It” relationships are important because that understanding is necessary for interacting with “I-thou”.

A lot has changed from 1923 when “I-Thou” was written. In our generation there is now “I-Pod”. What is amazing about this third relationship is that while it is part of the “I-It” objective world, it also starts creeping into “I-Thou” realm. “I-Pod” is encased energy of our choosing. It is our own reality in an accessible container.

One way to illustrate this is that there are many documented cases of people who are having “relationships with their “I-Pod”. It is becoming a necessary traveling companion and at our fingertips we are able to access much of what defines us. Our music, our audio books, our pictures, our videos are all contained in this tiny machine. In a sense it becomes a container for energy that is specific to us. And through this relationship with the "I-Pod" our minds have the opportunity to be expanded, and can create growth.

However, the direction of our growth is contained in the "seeds" we have placed in that tiny little pod.

Proposal for a new humanitarian award

One of the most prestigious awards given to those who seek to do good in the world is the "The Nobel Peace Prize. This award is given to the person who has made what is seen to be the greatest contribution that year to the increase of peace on our planet.

While this recognition is wonderful and well deserved, there is another category of people that I think may need to be singled out as well. These are people who are so caught up with themselves that they think just by walking in the room, goodness follows them like an odor...sorry, I mean aura. In their own mind they believe themselves to be special beyond reason.

I wrote about Paris Hilton and her belief that jail will snuff out the goodness that she brings to the "free" world. After Hurricane Katrina Joe Francis, the producer and CEO of Girls Gone Wild, donated money from one of his videos "Doggystyle" for hurricane relief. He wanted to give back to the community that had given so much to him. You can read about him in my blog "A true humanitarian" dated October 24, 2005.

What I am proposing is a counter award to the Nobel Peace Prize. I think it should be known as the No-Brains Piece of Ass Prize. This award would be presented to the one who most personifies the belief that their being adored and worshipped makes the world a better place.

I think Paris would have the nomination sewn up for this year. Applications are now being accepted for next year. Celebrity status need only apply, and nominations can be from the media and the fashion world. Oh, that right. Let's not leave out those pesky politicians.

Learning to dance

"Dancing is just conversation between two people. Let's talk." (from the movie "Hope Floats".)

Because of an upcoming wedding, my wife and I signed up for ballroom dancing classes. In the room were a wide mixture of ages and body shapes. But we were all there for the same thing; to learn how to dance.

Alan Watts, a philosopher talked about how the goal of life is to find pleasure in the journey. He used dance as a metaphor to talk about the goals in life to be movement, not destination. He stated that if the goal of dance were to finalize it, then everyone would be racing to be the first one to complete it. Music, and partners would be irrelevant. But that is not the goal of a dance.

Dance is learning to integrate form and rhythm and combining those with another person. The goal is complementary movement and the physical pleasure of being close to another person in that movement. It is learning to move with poise and grace with another person. That is what is fulfilling.

So here we are, all in a warm room that is getting warmer with all the bodies in it, learning to move together. Some are doing it better than others, but all are moving. And the more you stop thinking about it and let your partner’s presence and the music take you away, the more life seems to make sense.

Do you know what you sow?

I was listening to a Sara Groves song entitled "Generations". She talks about Eve taking the forbidden fruit in the garden and the ramifications of it. The chorus says “Remind me in every decision, generations will reap what I sow. I can pass on a curse or a blessing to those I will never know.”

What a powerful statement. We rarely think, especially with the small decisions, the impact it will have on others who come after us.

The reality is that we all are damaged in some way, and to varying degrees. Curses are handed down when I act in our own self-interest. Blessings are when I act in another’s best interest. And the trickery is that the more unrealized the damage is in my life, the more reflexively I act in my own self-interest, all the while deceiving myself about the meaning of the act.

And when the damage to a person or a family system is great enough, curses are handed down and defined as blessings to those in the family who have to accept the family’s definition, because they don’t know better. I have known such families, and the children wrestle with trying to figure out why a blessing can feel so bad.

The new face of humanitarianism

Jail-bound socialite Paris Hilton urged fans on MySpace to sign a petition to pardon her "mistake" because she provides beauty and excitement to "(most of) our otherwise mundane lives".

Paris, It's not just people who are out of prison who live mundane lives. Think of the prisoners you will be spending time with. I'm sure their lives are mundane as well and they would be looking for beauty and excitement. I think prison will be an excellent place to put your many talents to use. There have to be at least a few female prisoners who would appreciate your talents, some of which include getting naked, and making silly comments. And what a godsend if someone has a video camera so your caring can be witnessed by the rest of us on the outside, living out our mundane lives.

So it may be time for you to have a new label: Paris the Humanitarian. Seek incarceration, because you care, and because that's the kind of person you are!

Marciacism

I had lunch with a friend of mine named Marcia. She is energetic, generating ideas like a wetland generates mosquitoes, making wild and wonderful connections of ideas and thoughts. As we talked she told me a word she had made up to describe a condition she lived with. She called it "Marciacism"

She explained that she was not just in love with the thoughts she thinks or the things she does. She is in love with her. She gave herself a big hug. Is that cool or what?

I have seen people get nervous when they talk about loving themselves. We struggle with believing we are lovable. Narcissists love themselves in compensating unfulfilling ways. It takes effort to learn to love ourselves in ways that are healthy. We have to shed so many of the ideas that we were given and that we gave ourselves as a result.

I love it. I want Marciacism, but I can’t have it. I’m Jim. I guess I would have to say I am a Jimicist, but that sounds WAY less cool than Marcicism. Can I accept that I can’t be a Marciacist? YOU BET. Because I am me, and I love being me! Nobody else could be me, better than me.

And as you can see, I give myself the best hugs! I guess I would have to identify myself as a "me-hugger"!